Funny quotes

names not given because a few have turned into cliches and jokes so you never know who said them first so why bother naming the rest

Kinda sad, true quotes.

Now the trouble about trying to make yourself more ignorant than you really are is that you very often succeed.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, “No hablo ingles.”

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Inspirational quotes

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don’t have the film.

(I’ll make a exception to the no name rule here for sake of the quote) “If geek means you’re willing to study things, and if you think science and engineering matter, I plead guilty. If your culture doesn’t like geeks, you are in real trouble.” — Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft.

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive it isn’t.

Un-Inspirational quotes

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

There are three sides of an argument — your side, my side and the right side.

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

The road to success is always under construction.

Car service: If it ain’t broke, we’ll break it.

Just plain Funny quotes

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.

You know the speed of light. so what is the speed of dark?

About James

This is a place to post things that I find interesting or puzzles and other things.
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